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Why you may wish to disconnect to reconnect; technology addiction is real!

Twice in this past week, I have seen two social media giants; Apple and Facebook publicly admit with data, showing the severity of their concerns, as to how clearly your smartphone is making you antisocial, unhealthy and that their technology is designed to hook people using the same neural pathways as gambling and drugs.

In fact, both Chris Marcellino who was one of the developers behind the iPhone’s “push notifications” as well as Sean Parker, Ex-President to Facebook, recently admitted that the world-bestriding social media platform, was designed to hook users with spurts of dopamine, a complicated neurotransmitter being released when the brain expects a reward or receives fresh information.

‘You’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology” states Sean Parker.

In other words, we live in times when the “norm” for the average user is to look at their iPhone a minimum of 150 times daily, even though they believe it is only half as much as they actually do, which can equate over an average lifespan of 7 years, states Eric Andrew-Gee.

The developers of this technology knew this dirty little secret and that in the back of their mind this would take a toll on the end users, but despite this knowledge went ahead and developed it anyway with great financial gain for themselves.

The term ‘addiction’ was traditionally referred to as being addicted to drugs and alcohol, and only in the most recent years we have learned that ‘process addiction’ which includes gambling, food, sex, co-dependency, gaming, and global social media can be just as problematic as the original definition causing harm to individuals and families at a great cost.

So, you may think by now that this may seem like an innocuous problem and there are lots of issues to really be concerned about, but let me be clear if Facebook and Apple have concerns, so should you.  Now I don’t want to completely bore you with data and statistics, but I will provide a high-level overview of why you need to worry,

With 2 billion users worldwide on Facebook, although well intended to increase connection, it has its drawbacks and we have now created a culture of zombies who would prefer to look into their screens of their iPhone when walking, driving or riding in an elevator rather than lift their head and smile and say hello!

We are losing the ability to communicate in a ‘live’ manner leaving us feeling less connected and socially inept as well as the lack of connection impacts directly on our overall health and happiness. This is not just only happening in our personal lives, but it has infiltrated into our business lives as well with Zoom conferences, telemedicine and Skype for business. I do believe there is efficiency for this type of technology, but too often than not, it is not utilized in a balanced manner.

Not to mention the countless motor vehicle accidents that could have been prevented, had someone not had to text and drive or take a call when their eyes needed to be on the road.

When we first enter recovery, we learn that our substance misuse had a purpose, it kept us from our feelings and understanding our underlying issues which drove us to ‘act out’ in the first place. In other words, it was a coping mechanism for us not to be able to feel what might be painful and uncomfortable for us.

Being constantly distracted and preoccupied with technology is no different, something is overriding our consciousness and has highjacked our brain.

This is where it becomes dangerous. Herd mentality; just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t necessarily mean it is in your best interest to do so and you may wish to try a different approach. It is no different than our culture today, where alcohol is embedded everywhere.

We celebrate just about everything in life with alcohol including births, weddings, coming of age, funerals, country weekends.

I am not putting judgment on whether someone does or does not drink alcohol, but we must remember that alcohol is ethanol which is a poison to the body. Which brings me to my original point of ‘herd mentality’, just because everyone is doing it doesn’t  necessarily mean it is in your best interest or that it is good for you, or that you have to join in.

By now you may be asking what can you do when everyone around you is doing it?

Designate times and places that are technology free zones. You can start easily with no phones at the dinner table. Know your corporate policy at work.

Maybe at your next meeting, put your cell phone away, lead the way. Set some rules around what fits you and your family. Experiment by taking one day a week from being plugged in, yes 24 hours of no Wi-Fi, iPhone Gaming, or TV, witness what you notice.

By now you may be thinking it might be a good idea to get a head start on this trend as there is much discussion worldwide as to how to best manage the damage of being plugged in 24/7.

The way of the future is to encourage all of us to be more connected and that doesn’t mean only virtually anymore. Currently, there is a global movement emerging as Government Leaders, Businesses, Educators, Facebook, and Apple developers are becoming socially conscious and formulating policies as to how to mitigate the damage that too much technology can cause. They are trying to awaken us to the potential damage and empower us to walk through our lives more mindfully and just maybe, we may all have to disconnect to reconnect.

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Finding Recovery in Recovery

We live in times where the pace is frenetic with constant stimulation through technology and endless demands which creates a negative impact on our brain and coping mechanisms. Our options as to how we spend our time are numerous. Our brains are overstimulated, and we have become a society that is addicted to the constant distractions and chaos.

We have also become accustomed to having what we want and when a situation doesn’t go as planned, we have very little tolerance to accept reality. We may feel we either need to manipulate and control the situation to get the outcome we so desperately want, or alter our reality so we do not have to deal with it. There is a desperation present. We feel we need more control of our lives as we witness the volatility of our world today, with little idea as to how we can have influence or impact.

Sadly, the moment of control is an illusion and our fear of what we cannot face will rear its ugly head, once again.

For people in Recovery we learn quickly that we do not have the luxury of anesthetizing our emotions anymore and we are left with the stark reality of having to tolerate what we are feeling.

For a newbie, this is a hard task to learn.

Accepting my feelings is contrary to what I have always done. I learned as a young child when a situation feels intolerable to disconnect and check out, whether it be emotionally or physically. Not being present in the moment meant survival was possible.

Being able to cope effectively with all your emotions without resorting to using drugs and alcohol is the first step to achieving emotional stability. Allowing yourself to be able to fully experience all the emotions that arise without stuffing, disconnecting or acting out in unhealthy ways.

What a concept for those of us who have spent our whole life trying to run from ourselves.

The way through the discomfort is to fully lean into the discomfort.

Over time I have been able to witness what is playing out for me emotionally in real-time. That my subconscious mind has a sense of when I am triggered by my history that has very little to do with the moment being presented.

This process allows me to pause and choose again as to how I wish to react to what is triggering me!

I know that in no time at all another new thought or situation will come my way that may emotionally upset me but it is my reaction that is paramount regarding the outcome. Nowadays, I can witness my thoughts without attachment or become emotionally triggered and. Here lies the sweet spot of emotional sobriety, where I am able to accept and tolerate and not have to react or do anything about it.

Hmm, is it really that easy?

Building resiliency in all areas of your life is the key to achieving emotional sobriety and long-lasting happiness but it doesn’t happen without hard work and a course of action.

The cornerstone of my Recovery is dedicating time to set my day up for happiness and success by having a Daily Practice that consists of prayer, meditation, gratitude and breath work allowing me to become more resilient and glide through my day more easily.

Abstinence from active ‘using’ is the necessary first step to enter into recovery but it is not enough to keep you on the path unless you start to look at what the triggers are that make you want to use in the first place.

This took me a long time to get a handle on as a victim of unresolved trauma, depression and very little comprehension of how I ended up in the same place repeatedly.

I remember hearing the phrase “frequency of addiction” a term coined by my friend and mentor Tommy Rosen. It was as if the lights went on for the first time ever. It explained so clearly that one could recover from acute drug addiction and alcoholism but still be vulnerable to addictive behaviours and possible relapse. It was so clear to me that one can remain abstinent from drugs and alcohol and still be very unwell.

I wasn’t happy or stable and thought there was something pathologically wrong with me as compared to what had happened to me.

Over time I have been able to rework the patterning of my formative years, by playing back the trigger in slow motion and choose how I wish to react to the situation. I can acknowledge that there is an energetic and unresolved frequency (typically sub-consciousness) with very little understanding as to why this is having such a profound effect on me. It is a powerful force that will knock you off your game and sobriety if you are not aware how this will impact you.

Luckily today, my spiritual faith, being a witness to my patterns, acceptance of what is and my Daily Practice has allowed me to be able to handle anything that will come my way….because the sh*t will keep coming, and resiliency is the key!


Copyright © 2017 by Jeanne D. Foot, The Recovery Concierge Inc.
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